i just figured out the perfect murder
kill someone and bury them in their own garden
that way if the police find them they’ll think it was a suicide
#welp looks like the victim committed suicide and promptly buried themselves in their garden #how considerate of them
When your parents call and say they’ll be home soon
Most perfect thing ever.
One time I was out shopping with my mom and I started playing with a display thing, and she was like “What are you doing?” and I sarcastically was like “Worshiping Satan, obviously” and she was like “Seems a bit conceited to worship yourself, but whatever makes you happy”
“stupid fucking tv show” we all say as we continue to dedicate a whole blog to it
The american sex education system.
Why are you laughing at me
Alternative opening to Carrie
how dare you not notice me while i ignore you